Casey's Eviction
We're all waiting for tonight's big announcement. Is Julie really going to deliver that baby live on national TV? Enquiring minds want to know! Surprise! Surprise! The first words out of Julie's mouth are that the cliques are over. Then it's flashback time, Jessie's scheming, Michele wins Veto, Casey wins a no-lube banana and gets the shaft. What's next? Nobody knows for sure, but we all know it won't involve a cameltoe!
Joolz is tooo funny, it's time for "the banana's final ap-peel" lolz. Can Casey turn it around? Everyone who watches the feeds knows he's toast, but they're gonna jerk us around for a while before the votes go down and Casey hits the pavement. Ronnie the Ratboy is jumping for joy with nerdboy glee. Casey sums up how we all feel: "Season of the Dork" and then Jordan says the only reason that Ratboy's still around is because he's Jessie's B!tch. You know it's true! Love that girl!
Lydia likes to watch Jessie sleep, and says maybe he's dreaming of baby unicorns and she hopes he's dreaming of her. I guess he's never seen Fatal Attraction or he probably wouldn't let her into his bedroom at night. Seriously!
Jordan says she's the greatest pawn, ever, and you know she is. Casey is nervousing and whining and wishing he could stay but he looks so dang silly in that banana suit it's hard to take anything he says seriously. Kevin thinks it would be kewl to keep Casey, but he probably only said that because the diary room interviewer wanted him to say it. Casey's going home people! The producers have stretched this out for ten minutes now and they're gonna stretch it for another ten minutes and it's just a big pile of BS.
I'll say it again: Casey is TOAST!!! Right after this message! >>>>
Laura's Eviction
Jools looks hot in orange tonight! The cliques are in turmoil, and surprise surprise Ratboy is playing both sides. Now he's HoH!!! Jeff and Laura go up, and Jeff goes down. Cueball is an azzhole and a threat, but Ratboy refuses to backdoor him. But noooooooooo. Everything Ratboy sez is a LIE!!! Ratboy sent everyone on an emotional roller coaster ride ... butt first! More flashbacks: Ratboy wants Laura to go home. Russell is lucky he's not up and Jordan is not happy.
We get a quick flash of Laura's b00bs in a bikini! But Jeff likes Jordan best. Jordan sez he's her best friend, and he's a boy version of her. He's even learning to braid her hair. Laura sez she'll say whatever she has to in order to stay alive. Ratboy's wondering whether to keep her, and asks some of his buddies but nobody wants to save Laura. Then Ratboy's lies begin to catch up with him. Now we see Ratboys lies hit the fan, it's so fun watching that smirky brat squirm! Nobody loves Ratboy!
Who'll be leaving tonight? Julie pimps the right back lolz >>>
Dear Mrs. Ratboy
Dear Mrs. Ratboy,
We've been watching your loser of a husband for the past ten days, and enquiring minds want to know: why are you married to this lying, two-faced, backstabbing fool? I've heard him say that your mother doesn't like him, and the reasons why must be obvious to you by now. She sounds like a very smart woman.
For starters, he's a child. Nevermind his Playdoh and Bubble Wand obsessions, he truly is incapable of acting like an adult. He can't make his own decisions, he can't keep his promises, and he can't say no to people who try to push him around.
Someone suggested that you must be a dominatrix. If that's true, perhaps you're having fun with his little subbie azz. If not, it's hard to understand your attraction to him. He doesn't work, he doesn't clean house and his conversational skills are non-existent. Maybe he's well-endowed or really good in bed, but that seems very hard to believe.
Ratboy is just a 12 year-old child in a man's body. As long as you're with him he's the only child you'll ever have. Unless your mama already pointed that out to you, you read it here first.
-Lone
Braden's Eviction
Jools is back in a hot red dress, and It's Aawwwwwwn!!! Recap time, boooooooooring we know this already. Cliquety Clique Clique. Jessie and his Soooooper Alliance. Or is that Stupor Alliance. Chima the pond knows ponds go home. Cueball Russell the arrogant pig wins Veto. Lydia will do Anything, I mean Anyone, to stay in the game. Ronnie schemes! And schemes and schemes and schemes. Lydia is safe but they aren't going to tell us that she gave Jesse some Thank You ack-shun, which is doubly funny because Cueball Russell saved her, not Jessie.
It all happens NOW on Big Brother! Roll Credits!
Jools is hiding the baby with those cue cards, just like she used to hide the cameltoe. Flashes of the HG sitting nervously in the house. Replay of the Veto Ceremony. In the Diary Room Ronnie says he's the biggest schemer in the house and he's not on the block, all surprised, like WTF???
Clueless Cueball thinks Braden was some sorta big player - prime mover, what a dope. Jeff interprets Braden's nomination as a shot at him, because Braden is his closest friend in the house. Jordan cries. Laura wonders. Braden blames Lydia. Braden's says he'll go hellz bellz on everybody and you know he will. Chima feels safe. Lydia doesn't trust Jordan.
Braden blames Lydia and Russell confirms his suspicion. Russell's going to do his best to crank up Braden until he's so angry he goes off and loses votes. Then Braden does exactly that, and jumps all over Lydia and Kevin. Bleepity Bleep Bleep during Braden's racist, homophobic rant.
... and a smiling Jools sez: We'll Be Right Back!!! >>>
No BB11 Youtube Videos
There will be no BB11 Youtube videos here, or anywhere else. That's because Realplayer management have their heads up their butts. Rather than treating the phenomenon as a "fair use" promotional tool, they believe it's hurting Superpass subscription sales and have done their best to stomp it out. They don't realize that Superpass sales are down because most of their former customers are flat broke these days. Anyways, if you came here looking for video you're SOL. Sorry!
Michele Strips
The first night was mostly fun, but a bit of a mixed bag. Lydia discovered that Jessie just doesn't do girls, and I mean the girl was working it HARD for about an hour with no results. While Laura's got the boobs, Lydia's got the trash and Jordan is just plain cute, the real hottie in the house is Michele. Mmmhmmm, all that and brains too!
First Live Show
Julie's back, preggo in a shapeless black dress, and she has to be happy that flashing the cameltoe all those years finally paid off. It's a totally hi skool sort of season, and it all happens NOW on BB11.
Surprise surprise, there are 12 of the little buggers and here they come, screeching and flashing their magic keys. It's like watching Mouseketeers all over again "I'm JEFF!!!" lolz. They all flash by too quickly to remember anything, although one of them, Laura, gets two scenes in her b00bilicious bikini. It'll be easy to remember her lolz. Some of the doods are proud to say they'll be prowling for a showmance. Lydia the butch chick sez she'll do anyone, man or woman, if it gets her closer to the Big Buck$. Did I mention Laura has HUGE b00bs?
BB House here they come! No-cameltoe Jools sez it's time, and the first four screechers hit the house. Then four more screechy jumping beans go rolling in, rushing around to find a good bed. The best bed is, of course, whichever bed Laura parks her b00bs in lolz. The pool room is sucky and the have-nots room is even worse, the beds are thin mats on bare metal.
Next up they sit around in the living room introducing themselves. Casey is a dweeb for sure, a totally weenie old dude. Natalie lies and said she's only 18 when she's really 24, but Kevin calls her out on it immediately. Jordan seems hot for Jeff. None of the guys can remember Laura's name lmao. Russell is an arrogant cue-ball f*ck, if he keeps up the 'tude he'll be gone fast.
Ms No-Cameltoe sez stay tuned THERE'S MORE! >>>
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