Jordan Wins 5 – 2
What an amazing finish to a great season! Julie was positively radiant, looks like she's going to be a very happy mama. Jordan really pulled out all the stops at the end. At first it seemed that winning part two of the last HoH competition was something of a fluke, but when she won part three we all knew the girl wasn't quite as clueless as she had seemed. Tied with Kevin after the last question, she came very close to hitting the exact total number of votes this season in the tiebreaker, and won convincingly.
When Jordan evicted Kevin, rather than Natalie, a lot of viewers were upset. After watching Natalie play a dirty, back-stabbing game all season, nobody wanted to see her get any prize money. Many thought Jordan couldn't beat Kevin or Natalie and was playing for second place, however, the jury surprised us all.
Prior to voting it seemed certain that Jordan would get votes from Jeff, Michele, and America's choice, and she did. Many people felt Russell was most the most likely fourth vote, he had mentioned how impressed he was with Jordan in his interview with Julie. However when it came time to vote, Russell gave his to Natalie, as did Kevin.
The big surprises in the voting came from Jessie and Lydia. In post-show interviews Jessie said that he voted for Jordan because she won more competitions than Natalie, and particularly the final HoH competition. From the very beginning of the show Jessie had said that he valued winning competitions over floating and scheming in the game, but he and Natalie had been so close it was hard to imagine him voting against her. Lydia was a more open book, she always hated Natalie, so in retrospect it's easy to see that Jordan would get her vote.
The last announcement of the evening was awarding the $25K America's Favorite Houseguest prize to Jeff. Some people had hopes that Michele would win it, but there were far more Jeff-loving girls in the audience lol. Will Jeff and Jordan live happily ever after? Definitely yes, but probably not together. It seems that the age difference and living halfway across the country will make it difficult for them to get a real romance going. Only time will tell!
See you next year for Big Brother 12!
F3 HoH Part 2
Julie smiles and says "They've lied, cried and fought their way to the final three," and we're off! Kevin says he's waiting for a chance to stab Natalie in the back, and he looks totally serious when he says it. More flashbacks of Michele fighting to get into the final three, but Kevin won't take the deal and sends her to the jury house. We're going to see the results of the HoH competition, part one, but everyone already knows that Kevin won. Then comes the key part two competition, live tonight!
Julie tells us that the three finalists will all make it to the finale show next Tuesday, and says that she'll give us the details later in the show. Back to flashbacks of Michele's eviction, Kevin says it was so hard to evict her and Jordan feels like crying, she's totally on her own now.
The first part of the F3 HoH competition plays out. They get soaked with cold water and then we see gNat almost fall, she does a complete 360 but manages to stay on the log. Then they get hit by wind chill and snow, real snow. After three hours Kevin tells gNat that he's going until the sun rises and gNat says she can go longer than that. At three hours and 27 minutes, Jordan slips off the log. Natalie starts counting her share of the prize money and Kevin says he's right there with her, but he's lying. Once again we see Kevin in the Diary Room saying that there's no way he'll take gNat to the final two. Finally gNat jumps off the log and Kevin wins part one of the HoH competition.
Joolz takes us back into the house and tells the HGs that they'll all be staying in the house until Tuesday. The third part of the HoH competition will happen live on the finale, followed by an eviction and jury questions. All three of them are shocked, they're already packed up and ready to go, but glad to be staying.
From there they take us to the Jury house, but Jeff and Russell are hopeful that Jeff will be walking in the door. They'd love to see some instant payback after being evicted by him. The first thing Jessie tells Jeff is that Natalie is really 24, all the jury members say they really dislike her.
Joolz reappears to pimp the Right Back and we're off to commercials.
We come back to four former HGs, who are there to comment on this year's game. BB2 Mike Boogie, BB3 Danielle, BB6 Janelle and BB8 Evel Dick are sitting with Julie, Boogie has a baby gift from Tiffanys for her.
All four of them agree that the biggest moves in the game were Jeff using the Coup d'Etat, and Kevin and Natalie's lie to Jeff about Russell coming after him. The best move was clearly Kevin and gNat's lie, that's what put them in the final three. Julie asks them about Chima's meltdown, Danielle calls Chima a brat and Evel Dick says she lost sight of why she was there, she was only eight players away from a shot at half a million dollars. All of them think Kevin should win BB11, except Danielle, she's hoping for an all female final two. We'll be seeing part two of HoH competition tonight, Butt First, roll commercials.
We come back to part two of the HoH comp, gNat and Jordan will play individually against a two minute clock. They have to roll balls with former HoH names on them in order, into a skee-ball sort of array. Natalie goes first and only gets five balls in the correct HoH holes. Jordan's turn now, Julie explains the rules and she's off. Jordo needs six correct answers to win and she gets six correct in the first minute, JORDAN WINS!!! Before we go to commercial, Julie tells us that America will be voting for the final winner, we're the seventh juror since Chima was expelled.
Julie's back to tell them that Jordan won part two of the HoH competition with nine correct answers, both Kevin and Natalie look shocked. Jordan says she's sweating and gNat says "It SUCKED" which is about what you'd expect from the whiny little beotch. She continues to whine to Kevin at the end of the show, and all we can say is: Go Jordo, win part three and $500K is yours!!!
Michele's Eviction
Julie says we have one of each clique left, but one of them will not survive the night. Flashback to gNat winning HoH and pretending to ditch Kevin. Next up Pandora's box and Natalie's boyfriend proposing, still can't believe that turned out to be true. Who's going home? Roll credits!
Joolz comes back to say that tonight the Veto winner holds all the cards. We'll see that soon, Butt First gNat gNominates Kevin and Michele, then heads straight to the Diary Room to say she doesn't want to evict Kevin. Kevin says he really is looking for an opportunity to evict gNat, and Jordan doesn't know what to believe.
Jordo tells gNat that she doesn't know who to send out if she wins the veto, her first thought is to evict Kevin, but she's also afraid of Michele at this point. In the diary room she says that Jeff told her to stick with Michele, so no matter what happens she's going to stick with Michele. When they're in bed she tells Michele that she's totally safe if she wins the Veto.
Back to Kevin and gNat, Kevin is nervousing bigtime, he tells gNat that if he doesn't win the Veto he'll be going home. Who's going to win? Julie pimps the Right Back, hopefully we'll know soon.
Joolz tells us again that gNat can't play in the veto comp because she chose to see her boyfriend in the Pandora's Box deal. Kevin gets to host the Veto comp, it's a Houseguest Knowledge puzzle. Kevin is nervous at the beginning and Jordo is in even worse shape. Michele has a plan, but she can't find the puzzle blocks she needs.
Kevin goes to work and so does Michele, at first it looks as though Michele is ahead. Jordo is totally lost lol. Michele's first attempt is totally messed up, and Kevin is doing well. Michele gets confused, Jordo's lost and Kevin is on a roll. Kevin pulls ahead and Michele is so nervous her game is starting to fall apart. Finally Kevin wins, and everyone who likes Jeff, Jordo and Michele is soooo bummed. It's almost certain that Michele will be evicted.
Who will Kevin send to the jury? We'll find out soon, Butt First! Julie takes us into the house to talk to the Houseguests. Kevin says he feels great, but it's tough deciding who to evict. Jordan misses Jeff a lot, being in the house is hard and she wonders what he's doing now. gNat says it wasn't hard at all to choose to see her boyfriend over playing for veto in the Pandora's Box game. We get to see the crazy visitors that gNat unleashed on the house to get an extra fifteen minutes with her boyfriend. Who'll leave the Big Brother House? We'll find out soon, Butt First, roll commercials.
Jeff's Eviction
Julie's looking beautiful in black tonight! She kicks off the show by saying that tonight's the night Jordan and Jeff will be ripped apart. They take us straight into flashbacks where we learn that Kevin backstabbed Jeff by nominating him after he promised not to. Michele won the Veto competition, putting Jeff in the hot seat. Who'll be evicted? All the feed watchers know it'll be Jeff going out tonight. Roll credits!
Joolz sez that Kevin laid low all season, and then made a big move this week to get Jeff. Flashback to Michele using the veto on herself and Jordan going up in her place. Kevin is totally focused on evicting Jeff. Jeff and Michele try everything they can think of to save Jeff, but it doesn't work. Jordan says having Jeff leave is like breaking up with a boyfriend, it makes her sad. Natalie says all the blood is on Kevin's hands, and none of it is on her hands this week. Jeff going to the Jury House will be her present to Jessie. Jeff and Jordan look real sad on the back porch. Jeff says he's going to do his best to keep her spirits up, he hopes she wins.
The next sequence is all about working Natalie to save Jeff. Kevin is really nervous about Natalie, she's never been trustworthy in the game. Instead of finding the key to release Kevin and let him collect money, she just grabbed all the money in sight herself and didn't even try to find the key. Natalie says she doesn't trust Jeff enough to make a deal with him.
Cut to Jeff and Jordan kissing in bed with the lights out. Jeff is all about making out with her as much as he can lol. They talk about how to handle their last goodbye kiss after Jeff's evicted, and then they start practicing. Too cute!
Jeff and Michele talk on the back porch about how they might get Natalie to vote to keep Jeff, they even consider promising to throw HoH and let her win. It sounds like a sweet deal, but it's just too good to be true. Jeff makes his play with Natalie, she likes the idea of it, but can she believe him? Most of us know she doesn't.
Julie pimps the Right Back: Who'll be leaving the Big Brother house???
The LA Fire & The Big Brother House
BB House & LA Fire
The LA fires don't directly threaten the Big Brother set in Studio City, shown in the lower left corner of the map as "BB". The backyard set has very high walls, otherwise the house guests could easily see the smoke clouds rising to the north and the haze above them. The smoke is covering the city for many miles in all directions.
F5 Saturday Night
It's Saturday night and the lonely turd-boy lovers are wishing they could keep their stud around so they can imagine one more time that he really wants to make out with them, rather than Jordo. Exhaustion and hallucination are the hallmarks of the experience, aided perhaps by a liberal shot of JD in that Coke they brought home with the happy meals from Mickey D's. Their husbands and boyfriends could solve all our problems by banging them into insensibility, however they're too beat down by life and the incessant demands of their better halves to take care of business the old-fashioned way.
Yes, in a nutshell, I have a very simple message for all the Jeff-lovers of the world: Get Fvcked!
In the nicest possible way of course 
Russell's Eviction
Joolz sez there are "Lies lurking around every corner," and everyone who watches the feeds knows that's a fact. Straight to flashbacks: Jeff wins HoH! Kevin and Natalie throw Russell under the bus and Jeff buys what they're selling. Jeff wins the Veto competition and Russell goes up and is set to go out. Meanwhile, Kevin and Natalie plan to evict Jeff next week if they can win HoH. The only certain thing is that Russell is NOT a happy camper! Just before they roll the credits we get to see Jordo deliver a chest-bumping smackdown to Russell. Wow!
We're back, straight into the Veto Ceremony, and if looks could kill Russell would take out the whole city of LA. He's all about "they picked the wrong f'n guy" in the Diary Room, but he has that sick "I'm so f'd" look on his face when he says it. Kevin and Natalie are dancing in the aisles, or in this case, dancing in the storage room. Natalie thinks she and Kevin have the advantage over Michele and Jordan for the next HoH competition.
Michele is in tears after the veto ceremony. Even though she dislikes Russell, she'll be a lot weaker without him in the house. Russell thinks Jeff is an idiot, and that statement cues up vids of the backyard screaming matches. We see Russell sitting on the back porch immediately after the Veto Ceremony, he threatens to mop up the floor with Jeff's face in the jury house. Jeff replies that he's not scared of Russell at all, and that Russell has no character.
Jordo comes outside and goes off on Russell, she tells him he's just pissed because he lost. Jeff keeps shoving the "you got got" phrase straight up Russell's azz. They only have to put up with Russell a few more days. Russell thinks Michele would vote to keep him and that Kevin is a swing vote. With those two on his side, he might be able to stick around. In the Diary Room, Kevin says he has to think about it even though he hates Russell. Would saving Russell really help Kevin in the game? He's not sure.
Jump to Wednesday afternoon and Russell is getting desperate. Jeff's not responding to Russell, but Jordan gets pissed when Russell starts calling her fat. Jordo says "You hate it, you're going home!" and everyone knows it's true, except Russell. Russell's desperation is laughable, after two days to think up insults the best he can do is to insult a woman.
Meanwhile, Natalie tells Kevin "if you keep Russell I'll stab you in the heart," and you have to believe she'd try lol. More crap from Russell the Loser, he just keeps spewing like a grade school punk on his way to juvie.
Then Joolz appears to pimp the right back. >>>
Jeff pwns Russell
This recap & analysis is by Capgirl, originally posted at BB Chatter:
I've watched it back a few times now, and Russ openly admitted that what he said didn't matter, what deals he may or may not have had didn't matter... he was just angry that Jeff broke his word. This shows Russ is holding himself to a different standard. Also, Russ started that fight, no doubt about it.
Jeff's comment about the neck stabbing came AFTER Russ's threat.
But, it's all hilarious because Russ says what he says doesn't matter. He essentially negates his own arguments, and probably his own threats too.
Per Russ, "I could have told them the sky was f*cking pink. If I wanted it to be pink, it could be pink. What I told you may have been different than what I told someone else. So how do you know what I said to you wasn't true?"
In other words, Russ is telling them his word is probably crap but you just have to trust him, and how dare you question the idea that his word might actually BE crap, even though he just told you it was.
I don't get all of the Jeff hatred all of a sudden. From the day the feeds started we've all known that Russ has deals with everyone. And Russ is so predictable that we all knew he'd react this way. Russ was bested by his own rather lame game play. Russ is pissed that he got caught...and he's using threats of violence, which may or may not actually be threats because he might not really mean what he says... but we just have to believe him because he says it?
Here's the transcript of the start of the fight:
J: What's up, yo? You want to talk about it?
R: Go for it.
J: I mean, you got anything to say?
R: Huh?
J: You gotta know it was a smart move on my play. [pause] You don't think so?
R: [pause] [quietly] ... I just--
J: Huh?
R: It's....
J: Dude, I know you're upset now. But, you gotta think about what's best for you in this house, you know?
R: Do you know what you said right there?
J: What'd I say?
R: When you were sitting right there?
J: What'd I say?
R: You said,"If any of us change the f*cking plan, I'll go after you and your family." Do you remember that?
J: [while swalling a drink] Mmm-hmm.
R: Do you remember saying that?
J: Yeah, I do.
[pause]
J: But who broke the plan first? We had a Final 4 deal, not Final 2 deals on the side, so who broke the plan first?
R: That's not what you said. You said--
J: You're answering questions like -- when you and Michelle, when I was asking you questions. I'm saying, "Who broke the deal first?"
R: No one broke the deal...
J: And I answered your question.
R: We said Final 4, right?
J: Yeah, Final 4.
R: That's it. That's all we said.
J: And you and Michelle have a Final 2 deal, so that's breaking the Final 4 deal.
R: That doesn't matter. No, it doesn't break the Final 4 deal--
J: How are you're looking -- you're jumping the gun, man.
R: It doesn't break the Final 4 deal because the Final 4 is before the Final 2. So it doesn't matter. I could have told them the sky was f*cking pink. If I wanted it to be pink, it could be pink. What I told you may have been different than what I told someone else. So how do you know what I said to you wasn't true? That's what I'm saying?
J: I do know!
R: You probably said sh*t to everyone else in this house... right? Exactly!
J: Sh*t about what?
R: I could say anything to anyone, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all.
J: Apparently it does, because I just used the veto and obviously it does matter because you were saying sh*t and I just caught you.
R: No, no. I said we would do the Final 4 and then came back and you sat here- you sat right there and you said, "If one of you go against it, I'll come after you and your family." Let me tell you this, right now. If you don't f*cking win this game, you better hope to God you don't come to that f*cking Jury House. 'Cause I will mop your face all up and down the ground and I f*cking meant it.
J: [laughs]
R: I'm just sayin' that because don't ever threaten me. And don't ever threaten my family...
J: Honestly, I will lose five hundred thousand dollars and bust you in the mouth right now if you talk to me like that again. okay?
And that's where the explosion of F-bombs is set off with threats of neck-stabbing and security and what-not. But, I think people missed this beginning, and totally important revelation from Russell. His word is crap, and he knows it. If he tells you the sky is pink... then the sky better stay pink in your eyes, even though he's telling your neighbor it's blue and another neighbor that it's purple.
It's funny to watch him.
I suppose it's like a used car salesman who says, "I'm a crook and I will tell you anything to sell this car..which by the say has really low mileage, only one owner and was really well cared for and if you don't buy it, you're an idiot."
Jeff Wins HoH Competition
Jeff won the HoH competition, he got 24 cans down those tubes before the hour was up. Haves and Have-Nots were also decided during the competition, Michele and Russell are Have-Nots.
Lydia's Eviction
Julie's looking good in green tonight! The show starts with instant replays of the Cootie Taw, power shift and Chima's expulsion. It's so funny watching those three girliez cry about Jessie's eviction, it's like he died or something. As we all know, Chima tossed her microphone and was marched straight out the door. New HoH comp and Jordo wins! Lydia flips out! Kevin looks confused! Nominations were a no-brainer for Jordo, which is a very good thing because brains are not her speciality.
Flash shot of Lydia as Captain Uniturd and Roll Credits!
Joolz welcomes us back to the studio, and guess what boyz and girlz, with Chima gone there won't be a double eviction tonight, boo hoo. Lydia and gNat are on the block and one of them might be going home after tonight's live Veto competition and meeting. Roll the flashbacks! Lydia is Not Happy about being nominated a fourth time. gNat is playing a much tougher game and will do whatever it takes to stay. Michele wants gNat out and Jeff doesn't care who goes, as long as it's from the other side. Jordo tells gNat she's safe, the eviction target this week is Lydia.
Lydia is sooo Not OK. Kevin tries to get her to be more positive and go for the veto. Kevin's bummed because Lydia won't listen to him and she's alienating everyone else in the house. Kevin thinks that if he wins the veto he'll use it on gNat because she's a much better player.
Russell and Michele talk in the pool room, he tells her that it's time to take out Jeff as soon as they can. Cut to the red bedroom where gNat asks Lydia how many times she hooked up with Jessie. We're gonna get the whole story, including some videos shot in the HoH Tent lmao. The girls conclude that Jessie is a total jerk, and they're going to work together now, which will be hard because they're both on the block.
It's time for the Big Lie! Kevin cooks up a lie to make Jeff & Jordan believe that Russell is coming after them. However, as we now know, it's not really a lie, Russell already told Michele that he's planning to backstab Jeff and Jordan. Kevin tells Jeff that Russell wants to evict Jeff next week. Jeff tells Kevin that they may change their plans and decide to backdoor Russell this week. Kevin thinks Jeff would be an idiot if he evicts Russell. Next up is a loop of mind-changing, second-guessing, and general confusion for Jeff and Jordan in the HoH room.
Julie takes us into the house where Jeff says he's still glad he used the Cootie Taw. Kevin feels guilty about Chima leaving because he felt he could have done more to talk her down and get her to play the game. Lydia is asked what she thinks about Jessie now, and she's no longer missing Jessie at all. In fact she says that if she goes to the Jury house, he's going to have one very angry woman on his hands. Jordo's favorite thing about being HoH is getting to take a bubble bath every night.
Joolz tells them it's veto time, Butt First ... roll a commercial block. >>>